Approval is overrated

An ode to the rule breakers

I wrote an entry exam at my Alma Mater university before I was accepted. A pre-assessment. Besides your school marks it assesses your suitability for a course of study.

My results clearly said “DON’T STUDY ACCOUNTING”. I wanted to change my family’s life and the guy who knows how to work with money, I thought, will likely succeed.

I felt down. My entire plan derailed by a computer-generated algorithm.

Imagine I listened to everything and everyone trying to tell me what to do?

The opinion trap

Growing up I was told either blatantly or subliminally; I should consider something else or this is not for you. So reconsider.

When I played football - You should stick to playing central defender

Basketball - You shouldn’t take 3’s only 2’s

At work – You won’t become a director, so move elsewhere. The transformation targets are fine here and no-one’s gonna move anytime soon.

Applying for c-suite jobs – You don’t have enough experience or technical expertise

The advice is well-meaning but it only sees you as you are now. Not YOUR POTENTIAL.

That’s why when you don’t believe in yourself you’re setting yourself up for failure or always falling short.

We don’t realise the scars we carry. I’d go as far as to say; when you grow up not having much, you tend to over compensate even more.

Because your self-worth and self-esteem has been shattered.

Proving yourself all the time can make you sick. And it’s quite unattractive.

Unlock peace

We give people too much power to decide which box to put us in. It is great to get opinions and counsel. But ultimately it’s your choice to accept it or digest and alter it to suit your pursuit.

Being content with who you are and who you’re becoming is unbelievably freeing.

I receive job offers. Most push me to being a director of a non-profit or finance person in a mid-sized company.

If I didn’t know what I wanted and where I am heading toward I would continuously be misdirected by every carrot that’s hung in front of me.

These days I think more of myself. Adaptability is a trait that we should hold in high regard. Having an understanding of a problem and a desire to solve it, is what I believe will create a sustainable future for young leaders in business.

The fork in the road

The fact that I had a business that was SEVERELY impacted by covid lockdowns and by grace and grit got out of it, is one of the biggest experiences of my life. It was awful at the time.

But in the pruning you are being prepared.

When we were young accountants we expected to become Partners at audit firms, Chief financial officers, Finance managers. But a narrative is shifting.

We are thinking about creating something special that makes the world better.

It’s naïve to think that you can do anything! You can’t. Especially not on your own.

But to take everyone’s opinion to heart can be dangerous. Get to know yourself and take the time to find out who you want to become.

At the end of the day, most people don’t dream big enough themselves, so it’s easy to be pulled into that world.

I had a friend who stuttered quite badly when he spoke. He would get frustrated at himself. And sometimes turned red as he pushed words out, but it just didn’t come out fast enough. We finished his sentences, which made him feel even worse.

One day he sang for us and it came out fluently. He could REALLY sing!

Imagine he asked our approval about whether he should start taking singing seriously? But we only knew the stuttering guy? The version we knew at that point in time.

He knew something inside said YES. Only he had that answer.

He later formed part of a band and performed all over the City.

Permission and approval is overrated. Only YOU KNOW YOU.